Coffee Shop Crisis revisited

When I was working on an early version of the Empowered series, I did a few practice writing riffs. One of them featured a snarky ex-super-villain having an afternoon date with her boyfriend at their favorite coffee shop. It soon took on a life of its own, as practice riffs sometimes do. I ended up with a flash fiction story called “Coffee Shop Crisis,” which ended up running in Every Day Fiction. If you want a different, amusing take on superheroes and super-villains, read on. A perfect story to read on your coffee break!


Coffee Shop Crisis

Dale Ivan Smith

All I wanted was a day off and a date with Christopher at Tai’s Mokka Korner, no costume, no super powers, no so-called heroes wrecking things. Chris wanted things to be different. This girl was working on it.
We were at our favorite table, a little round number, seated in plush wooden chairs, drinking Tai’s “Secret Blend”, our favorite coffee drink at Mokka Korner, which was our favorite coffee shop in all of Seattle, when my least favorite person in the whole wide world strode in from the rain swept street.
Dolomite. He had super strength. He could toss a bus like a brick. They called him a super hero. He was a super jerk as far as I was concerned.
He stomped inside, his shale-colored cape billowing, autumn leaves tumbling after him. Rain plastered his long black hair to his scalp, and the bedraggled locks trailed off to either side, giving him a bad mullet.
His gaze swept the room but he didn’t react when he looked at Chris and me. After all I wasn’t wearing my armor and my red hair was loose instead of in a braided pile under a dura-alloy helmet.
Dolomite strode to the counter. Water splattered the floor as he walked past a man and woman in business wear sitting together.
“Watch the breeze, buddy,” the man said.
“You are dripping water over everything, the woman added.
Dolomite ignored them.
Jerk.
Tai worked the counter that afternoon. He must have recognized Dolomite but he didn’t miss a beat.
“What can I get for you, sir?”
“Coffee,” Dolomite said, in a fake Italian accent. He claimed his super power made him Italian, but he was from Omaha.
“Well sir, we have a lot of choices here.”
“Funny man, eh? I will tell you this, if I wanted a double espresso with hazelnut, I would have said so. And if I wanted a vanilla latte with extra nutmeg, I would have requested that. I desire only coffee.”
“Americano then, sir?”
Dolomite frowned. “The thing I like least is people taking words and making them sound like they came from a language not their own. In particular, I dislike it when that is done to words from Italian.
“I want coffee, black. No cream. No sugar. Simplicity itself.”
“Certainly sir.”
“You don’t need to be an asshole,” the man in the business suit said.
Dolomite glanced back. “Please, citizen, keep to your seat and enjoy your beverage. This is none of your concern.”
Amazing that Crime Fighters North America had kept Dolomite on.
“So, that’s the big bad Dolomite?” Chris whispered.
“He can stop a bus by just standing still.”
“But apparently not catch a clue when it comes to fashion.”
I laughed.
Dolomite snapped his head around and glared in my direction.
I covered my mouth.
Chris held up his newspaper, mouthing, “please don’t.”
“I’ll be good,” I whispered back.
“Your coffee, sir.” Tai held a Grande cup out to Dolomite.
Dolomite sniffed and his face puckered. “The beans are not roasted in the proper style.”
“Sir, this is our house blend. Fire-roasted.”
“Your house blend is inadequate.”
Chris gave me a concerned look. “Fresh start,” he reminded me.
“It is.” Chris had wanted me to give up my old ways. I was trying, I really was.
I wasn’t going to get involved. It would lead to all sorts of trouble, and ruin our date. Also, I really didn’t want to send Dolomite to the hospital again.
Dolomite snatched the cup from Tai’s, brandished it. “I will announce this coffee’s imperfections to all passerbies, until you change the blend.”
Tai’s face paled.
A superhero, even a jerk like Dolomite, standing outside Mokka Korner, bad-mouthing the coffee could ruin the business. The regulars knew that Tai’s fire-roasted blend was awesome, but competition for java dollars was brutal in Seattle. Bad press could kill the bottom line.
Damn it. Dolomite threatened my favorite coffee shop, one place where I could go with Chris for a long talk while staring into each other’s eyes.
“Sorry, hon,” I told Chris. I kissed him. “Just this last time, I promise.”
He started to reply but I darted out the back door.
The alley behind Mokka Korner was deserted. I pulled up the manhole cover and slipped below street level, to find my backup outfit. A girl never knew when she might have to pull off a crime. Or in this case, distract a lunkhead.
A moment later, I was dressed for business. I soared through the opening, raindrops sliding off my armor. Frictionless metal came in handy. I hovered just above the pavement and kicked the steel cover back in place.
I landed atop the Java Empire across Third Street from Tai’s Mokka Korner. Might as well include the competition.
“Hey slag head!” I shouted at Dolomite
He jerked his head up. I flipped him off.
“Miscreant!” His bellow echoed off the neon Java Empire sign behind me.
I stuck out my tongue.
Dolomite grabbed a metal newspaper box and hurled it at me. I dropped to street level. The makeshift projectile smashed the sign where I had stood.
I grinned. “That the best you can do?”
He roared again and bounded across Third in one huge leap. His booted feet smacked the roof of a cab, sending it careening into a lamp post.
I jumped sideways and he crashed through Java Empire’s doors, and into the counter, sending customers scrambling, and toppling the nearest coffee machine with a huge rending crash.
I wrenched open the remains of the shattered door. “Get out if you want to live,” I yelled at the people cowering inside.
I always wanted to say that.
Then I flew off. My day had been ruined, but my foe’s was ruined worse, and my favorite coffee shop was still in business. Not bad for an almost ex-super villain.

THE END

32 thoughts on “Coffee Shop Crisis revisited

  1. Pat

    Loved it. Maybe Chris is afraid of strong women? How could anyone just stand by and listen to the rudeness! You go, ex-super villain!

    Reply
    1. Dale Post author

      Hi Rebecca,

      I’m glad you enjoyed the story. I’m a fan of strong female characters, too! Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  2. Gina L

    Absolutely adorable!! Would love to see this in a collection of closely related shorts all meshing with each other; by YOU of course.
    Ideas? Maybe telling your crew you’re going good/bad, coming out to your family/coworkers/life partner, gettimg your suit made with/without giving away your identity, convincing him/her to stop hiding their identity from you (the best friend/life partner/coworker/family member), trying to see a movie/opera/play/concert/sport event, planning your wedding, taking public transport to work every day in disguise/uniform, deciding on a disguise/day job/pet/team members, etcetera, etcetera; all superheroes though & all of them related, working together, neighbors or in a relationship.

    Reply
    1. Dale Post author

      Thanks, Gina! Glad you enjoyed the short. Those are very cool ideas for additional short stories featuring our “almost ex-super-villain 🙂

      Thanks for reading!

      Reply
      1. Daniel Cohen

        I don’t agree who is the hero and who was the villain, actions not titles make heros and villains. I do like the the way you write. I tried to find “Dead Wife Waiting” couldn’t, but did find some of your other writings, I’m glad I did!

        Reply
  3. Terrie Williams

    Auto correct never works when you want it to….

    What a fun read! Thank you very much.

    Terrie Williams

    Reply
  4. Anthony

    Funny, I liked it very much. 😁 I wouldn’t mind reading another short story about her escapades agai5.

    Reply
    1. Dale Post author

      Glad you enjoyed the story, Anthony! Thanks for reading. I’ll keep your suggestion in mind 🙂

      Reply
      1. Edna

        Could see this evolving into a full novel, or did I miss it? Great story line, would like to more about all characters leading up to and after this.

        Reply
        1. Dale Post author

          Hi Edna,

          You haven’t missed it. I have some ideas about taking this further–stay tuned! Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading!

          Reply
  5. Mark Benjamin

    What a fun read! Almost ex-super villain behaving like a hero and a hero behaving like a villain! Sweet switch!

    And I agree, this should be made into a longer work 🙂

    Keep writing!

    Reply
  6. joe

    it is a enjoyable read.
    fun…
    nice switch on the good and bad.
    Hope they have another coffee date again soon.

    Reply
    1. Dale Post author

      Hi, Joe! Glad you enjoyed the story! Another coffee date may well happen in the future.
      Thanks for reading!

      Reply

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